Question 1:  Are you some type of alien in disguise who can't understand the frustrations encountered when one tries to master mathematics?

Answer : No, least I don't think so. But some of us may be aliens and not know it. I'll check and get back to you on that , ok.

Question 2 :  Do you have a life?

Answer : Yes, but just one. Wish I had another, but then that would be two lives,... which is more then one; and that is not allowed.

Question 3 :  Can I go to a mathematician's office sometimes and ask a question?

Answer : Yes!

Question 4 :  Are you Attila the Hun posing as a mathematician?

Answer : No. He's dead. And besides, he was not a very nice man. I am. My daughter said so, and she wouldn't lie about something like that.

Question 5 :  Why is it that, after a party, when I try to do my Calculus homework, I never seem to get the answers which are at the end of the book?

Answer : As a general rule it is never a good idea to "drink and derive". (But if the person who found the answers at the end of the book did,  you may find that your answers coincide.)

Question 6 :  Why do they refer to the theorem which associates finding the General Antiderivative of a function to finding the area of the region bounded by that function and the x-axis as "The Fundamental theorem of Calculus"?

Answer : I'm not too sure, ...but I think  it is because it is considered a fundamental theorem in calculus.

Question 7 : Why do mathematicians never discuss penguin rights publicly ? Are they afraid of being marginalized or is it because of the fact that penguins are known for their poor mathematical skills ?

Answer : Uhhhh...Yes....This is not an unimportant question and is well worth studying. I think it be would worth while that penguins through out the world organize a delegation and present their grievances to the next World Congress of Mathematicians requesting that a committee be formed to look into this.