FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

*Question 1: Are you some type of alien in disguise who can't
understand the frustrations encountered when one tries to master mathematics?*

*Answer : No, ...at least I don't
think so. But some of us may be aliens and not know it. I'll check and
get back to you on that , ok.*

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*Question 2 : Do you have a life?*

*Answer : Yes, but just one. Wish
I had another, but then that would be two lives,... which is more then
one; and that is not allowed.*

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*Question 3 : Can I go to a mathematician's office sometimes
and ask a question?*

*Answer : Yes!*

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*Question 4 : Are you Attila the Hun posing as a mathematician?*

*Answer : No. He's dead. And besides,
he was not a very nice man. I am. My daughter said so, and she wouldn't
lie about something like that.*

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*Question 5 : Why is it that, after
a party, when I try to do my Calculus homework, I never seem to get the
answers which are at the end of the book?*

*Answer : As
a general rule it is never a good idea to "drink and derive". (But if the
person who found the answers at the end of the book did, you may
find that your answers coincide.)*

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*Question 6 : Why do they refer to
the theorem which associates finding the General Antiderivative of a function
to finding the area of the region bounded by that function and the x-axis
as "The Fundamental theorem of Calculus"?*

*Answer : I'm
not too sure, ...but I think it is because it is considered a fundamental
theorem in calculus.*

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*Question 7 : Why do mathematicians
never discuss penguin rights publicly ? Are they afraid of being marginalized
or is it because of the fact that penguins are known for their poor mathematical
skills ?*

*Answer : Uhhhh...Yes....This
is not an unimportant question and is well worth studying. I think it be
would worth while that penguins through out the world organize a delegation
and present their grievances to the next World Congress of Mathematicians
requesting that a committee be formed to look into this.*